Turning 30 soon? Here’s Your Manual

If you are fast approaching third floor like me, you are likely going through a rough patch. Here’s my best guess—at least one of the following statements describes you right now:

• You’ve just finished school with big dreams, only to realize that your expectations were way too high and you should drop your pride and take up any job that comes your way.
• You are a few months or years into your first decent job and you can’t take it anymore. The long hours, meagre pay and horrible boss are driving you nuts.
• You’ve tried setting up a business based on a great idea you had but things didn’t quite turn out as expected. You are broke, miserable and terrified of the future.
• You messed up and had a child early in life and now you don’t feel like you will ever make it financially without sacrificing time with your child/family.
• You have just gotten married and are having a hard time adjusting to the change. You can’t seem to agree on anything with your spouse and it is driving you crazy.
• You feel like you are too far deep in alcohol and/or substance abuse to be redeemed. You are trying your best to quit but you know that you are weak on your own. You need help but it doesn’t seem to come by. Everyone would rather condemn you than encourage you.

I could go on and on about different scenarios and I am sure you would relate to most of them. I can’t promise that I am going to offer you a quick fix for your troubles but I will sound a warning for you. Things are already bad, and they will get worse if you do not take charge. Here are 5 things you must do if you want a better, more bearable life on the third floor.

Take charge of your life

If you feel like your life is no longer yours; like every decision you make must first be approved by someone else; or like you can’t make it through life without a particular person, you must start taking charge of your life. Your parents, spouse, siblings and others who want to influence your decisions may do so in good faith, but that does not mean that the decisions they make on your behalf are the best for you.

You are an independent adult with free will. When you take charge of your life, you will be more willing to take responsibility for the consequences of the choices you make. Messing up is guaranteed, but the most important lessons you will ever learn are the ones that see you through a great deal of pain.

Take care of your (mental) health

Your success in anything will depend on your health, especially your mental health. You may work so hard to achieve financial success but never get to enjoy it if you neglect your health along the way. Do remember to exercise regularly; eat healthy foods; keep away from dangerous lifestyles; practice safe sex; and importantly, take care of your mental health. Talk to someone about your troubled thoughts. Better still, talk to a professional. Don’t self-diagnose depression; don’t self-medicate.

Quit procrastinating

Whether you have been planning to sign up at your local gym since 2013 or you have been sleeping on your business idea for the past two years, like me, decide to get started right away and stick to the course. I can confidently tell you that it is totally worth it, now that I have finally launched a business, whose idea I had been sleeping on since 2016. When I look at the impressive uptake, I am ashamed of having procrastinated all this time. No idea is too crazy; the important thing is getting started. So, get started.

Drop the sense of entitlement

You will never progress as long as you feel entitled. You must realize that nobody owes you anything. Your spouse does not owe you upkeep; your father does not owe you inheritance; your friends do not owe you their time…nobody owes you anything. Whatever you get from whomever is a token. It is not guaranteed and must never be demanded. You are only owed what you work for. Work for it.

Never neglect your family

As much as you may not get along or have a close personal relationship with them, your parents, siblings and children are the only people you are tied to forever and who will always be present no matter what. In your darkest moments and even upon your death, they are the only people who must share your grief and find a way to deal with the loss. Hold them dear.